Thank you all for the experience. (WOLM #6)

Christmas is fast approaching and I find myself reflecting what happens to me emotionally during these season. Maybe its the weather or the cold breeze that makes me think about these things but I guess it is time for me to share a few. It is also my way of letting go of these experiences and to thank those people who made an effort to make me feel that way and made me who I really am today.

December 1990

My first Christmas. I never really remember I was only a few months old but I do know my parents were very thankful I came into their life not knowing what the future holds for them about me. Thank you Mama and Papa for always trying to make me happy during this season. I wish to give you more than you could give me but I am not worthy of giving you such gift. I know you are both happy with the love and care the three of us give. I am sorry I cannot give you that ultimate Christmas gift this present year (2015).

Fast Forward to December 1998

This is the year ( i think) that I found out who Santa really was. I guess I can admit that was the only thing that excites me about Christmas when I was a little girl. Being the cool girl that I am. I shook it off my shoulder and pretend to not know who Santa really is but the next year there was no more gifts because I knew it was already my parents and they think it was about time for me not to receive gifts on Christmas because I was a big girl.

Photo grabbed on a random Twitter post

Photo grabbed from a random Twitter post. Yes, until now as a 25 yrs old girl I have not experience most of the ones written in this picture.

December 2008

One of the most memorable Christmas Season of my life.

I had the chance to meet my long time boyfriend at that time. He lives in the other part of the world and never thought that that meeting will be the first and last time that I will spend the holidays with him. It was and still is the best Christmas anyone can ever give me.

Thank you, A1. We may not be as close as we were before and I know we have grown very much apart now but I am thankful for your generosity and EFFORT to spend that time with me even though I know you would have choose to be with your family and friends during Christmas day but you were alone in Dubai waiting for a connecting flight to see me. I hope you feel the same way but I doubt it. XD

December 2009

I shall call this “the aftermath Christmas”

why so?

This is the first Christmas season that I felt everything in my life going down. I felt unhappy with my career choice and I just came from a break up. I never thought I would spend that year very differently than the past year. I had major breakdowns during that summer season as well. I even went to the extent of not going out my room the whole day because I couldn’t stop crying or stop myself from crying.

I did have the strength to spend it all on my parents. With the love and support, I still felt empty and just plain nothing. I was still in pain.

There was no difference December 2010

I still felt empty. Actually more lonely. I felt alone.

December 2011

My family had a little “out of town” during the Christmas season. Just to get away from the similar traditions we had. This was also a time where I was chatting or texting with a boy I shall call A2. He was very nice to text me the whole day during Christmas eve but disappeared during the Christmas day and only sent a text during the morning of the day.

He said he was spending it alone in Rizal Park looking around people. Of course I got moved and told him that it would be fun if I could spend it with him. He then told me that he wants to see me soon and I agreed.  We saw each other just after Christmas in a nearby mall. I had with me my best friend but later on she left and we had time to ourselves.

That was the day I felt things will be better soon enough. I might have been wrong to assume that.

December 2012

That June I went back to school.

I spent Christmas with my family but I wanted to spend it with someone else. As you might have guess. Yes, its A2 I am referring about. Even though it was close to impossible.

December 2013

I was still with A2 we actually had a good year. I suppose, but I was actually wrong. I was concentrating with my school requirements and was also balancing spending time with him with his tight schedule revolving around me, his alone time and his time with his #1 gf. Didn’t mention that eh? During the course of our relationship that year. I found out I was not the only one. I was the second one. The one to run to when #1 was busy with her own life. The one who would gladly drop everything she does to spend time with him. As second semester came and I was caught up with my requirements I spent less time with him and more time at the school. Of course I felt guilty but I knew he would understand(so I thought) because he was the one who pushed me to continue that path. Later on, I found out he went out with this girl she was talking to alot that he would say “UNDERSTANDS ME MORE THAN YOU COULD”

That year I cried again. I though I wouldn’t anymore. I had full trust on him that he will not repeat what he did to #1 to me. Only because of the reason that I was becoming just like her. I wanted to finish. I wanted everything to be done. I was suppose to graduate the coming year but I didn’t I was too caught up trying to prove to him that Ill choose him over anything else. I know its the wrong move and I also did not find myself happy with what I was doing and did not see myself to be happy in the future with what I was currently doing with my career path.

December 2014

Everything was slightly calm and also I had family from the States that came home to spend that Yuletide season with. It was fun and some with little adventures as we showed them around.

It was different though with my relationship. As usual he said he spent Christmas day with #1 but until now I still have doubts he spent Christmas Eve with her as well. That year was tough for us because earlier that same year I found out he was seeing someone else that he met and was spending “vacation leaves” and “weekend trips” with her than be with me and #1.

I would have understand if it was spending time with #1. She deserves it. Being tough with every situation given to her by him and her family, standing firm. Of course, its natural to feel jealous but of course I understand that she sacrificed a lot of the time with him to fix her own life. I didn’t know he was doing those things with someone else and of course I felt mad.

I was mad because I was too understanding and I gained trust again in him but he destroyed it again. I was forgiving though. I forgave him and told him that if he had these things to do try not to get caught because there are eyes around that he does not know of.

I still cried that year. I knew I was replaceable. That I was just another girl. I felt low,alone and lonely. I still haven’t regained that self-confidence. I still felt like a toy.

This year things turn out different but I do hope this December wont be as bad as the past years. I am very tired and I just want to feel happy on Christmas and New Years Eve and day.

I hope I didn’t bore you with my novel of a post. I just had to let it all out.

To anyone reading this up until now. Thank you for reading. I’m sorry to be so dramatic or as what others would say “dramatize” my experience but seriously though everything that happened was straight from my heart, how I really feel and what really happened based on ,of course, my side of the spectrum.

♥L

Long Weekend Madness (L Blogs#1 and Reviews#2)

The long weekend has come and pass. (yet again.) To all my Muslim brothers and sisters, I hope you had a meaningful  Eid’l Adha celebration.

I am very saddened though by the news that the celebration became a disaster in Mecca due to a stampede that killed almost 700 people (please correct me if I am wrong). So enough about current events because we have CNN for that. :)))

What did I do on the long weekend? Okay, lets start.

Cafe Moraco Thursday

My parents went to fetch me ,my brother and sister here in Manila. My brother was very eager to go home because he wants to eat dinner out and my parents, as always, gave in to his request. He wanted to go to a restaurant in or near SM Mall of Asia but we went to Cafe Moraco, Kawit instead.  It was not our first visit on this cafe. It is actually my mother’s favorite place to eat Chicksilog (Chicken, fried rice and fried egg). The place serves great “silogs”,finger foods/ snacks, pastas, frappes and hot beverages. They also have board games that can be borrowed by surrendering your ID to the staff. I think this is a great idea specially in a place that is not a fan of cafes and hanging out at cafes. I would love to take my high school barkada here rather than go to QC for the board games place named Ludo but I might change my mind once we are already there. Haha. Now, I miss them. haha

I just realized as I am writing this post that Cavite is becoming an extension of Metro Manila. It has hip places to hangout at and there are more emerging establishments of the same nature as in Manila. Did i mention Zark’s has a branch in SM Bacoor?

Okay, back to Cafe Moraco. I ordered their pasta specialty that I forgot the name but it has “espanola” on it. It is a spaghetti dish with spanish sardines and an oil based sauce. It’s good.  I like the spicy kick it has. For drinks, I ordered an almond frappe. That also tastes so good and very refreshing.

What caught my sister’s and eventually my parent’s attention is Tatsi’s Frappe. My mama and papa were figuring out how to say it and I guess my father being an ass as he is thought of it as something disgusting (shit!). Yes, I am kind of embarrassed and impressed by how he thought about it. I am very sorry to the waiter that was taking our order and to the admin for his behavior and reaction. My mother then asked why it is called that way and the waiter told us that Tatsi is the owner’s grandfather. Thanks Mama for making it more awkward. That was the bad highlight of our visit there. Until now when I remember it, it makes me sorry  for my father’s thinking.

Overall…

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Food and Beverages:  4 stars
Ambiance:  3 stars
Staff attitude:  4 stars
Location: 4 stars

Overall:4 stars2If you want to know more about this cafe, Click here, check out their FB page. 😀

Green Inferno Friday

That morning went by so fast. I woke up and had a quick breakfast and took a bath. It was because we had to take our pooches to the vet for check-ups. We had 3 dogs with us and left 4 at home. If you want to call animal hoarders go ahead but we love and take care of them all so it is not really hoarding.  Our priority was our little Pomspitz, Cookie, she got bit by our Chow chow, Bart, hard and she badly needs medical attention. We already gave her antibiotics and vitamin B but ma and my sister think its best to go to the vet. We were early when we got there and the vet was not there yet. She did arrive and told us that Cookie needs to be brought to a special vet because the bite is very severe. 😦 I was deeply saddened by hearing this because my parents won’t go to Alabang or Tagaytay to take her there. So there. We are currently giving her more antibiotics and Yaya is taking good care of her. She looks better when we left her Monday morning. She just needs to get her appetite back. The other two dogs only had deworming and were healthy and happy that they went out.

When I got home I rested a bit and had plans of going out at 3pm to watch a movie with the one and only Brickmerch (visit his site clicky clicky) We planned to see a movie that Saturday but we changed plans and met each other on a Friday instead. Heneral Luna was the one on our list but when I saw Green Inferno is showing at SM Bacoor we went there and watched that movie instead. Ahahaha.the_green_inferno-2

The movie itself was not in the horror category in my opinion. It was more of gore. The movie did not have much of a deep story but what caught my attention was the editing of the movie itself. The saturation of the colors specifically red was so saturated that it made the tribe bloody red. I fell in love with the coloring of fillm. And how sharp the picture was. My tip is to wait for the credits to end because there is a surprise at the end. 😉

My movie verdict is:3 starsI had a great time that Friday as usual. 😀

Laidback Saturday and Sunday

These two days went by so fast. Specially Saturday. The only highlight I could think of is the Aldub episode. Ahahahaha. #kiligmuch. I do think the episode last Saturday was better than the one this Saturday. Okay, I follow the infamous love team. They make me laugh but all the efforts and kudos to Wally Bayola who really does the funny parts of the “Kalyeserye”.

Sunday was all about the family. We went to church at SM Rosario and went straight to the supermarket as soon as the mass ended. I was able to convince my mother that I want to buy ingredients for Apple crumble and she agreed but I think she regretted that she allowed me. It is just a trial one. I think ill be able to pull it off the next time I make it. I just need more sugar and butter in my life. Ahaha. We also made meatballs which was brother approved. 😀

I like cooking. It makes me happy but I do not think I can cook well enough yet. I need more practice and more cookbooks to read to be able to be a good cook.

I also practiced some photoshop tweeks and also pencil drawings. :))) I need more practice.

Still in the process of but im so excited to show all of you the final result soon. :D

Still in the process of  finishing it but I am so excited to show all of you the final results soon. 😀

I guess that is all I did during this long weekend. I hope you enjoyed reading my adventures as much as I love writing it all for all you 😀

♥ L